eva

i can't believe i'm listening to 2 gryphon ~rant~ in 2017

xax: wait did 2 gryphon actually make a video about how the furry fandom is dead
xax: i wonder if his shtick has changed at all since like 2001
xax: "the life and death of the furry fandom"

xax: okay so his thesis seems to be that furry was originally about furries and that it's been diluted by uhhhhhh unrelated anime and fetish and my little pony stuff to the point where it's more a "this is a collection of weird fetish shit" fandom
xax: which is like
xax: a very 1990s complaint about furry tbh
xax: burning furs etc
xax: w/ his constant refrain being like fetish people coming in and true furries being like "well, that's not really _furry_" and the fetish people being "oh how dare you, i IDENTIFY as blah blah blah", complete with the emphasis on 'identify'. and like that is a very modern phrasing. 2 are you mad about furry becoming a queer scene. b/c that is also a very 90s complaint
xax: "that brings us up to about 2014. now, suddenly we got people coming in who are saying 'well i'm a furry'. what makes you a furry? 'well cuz i am-- because i'm into gender politics; because i have this certain mindset about gender and equality'. well that's not really what furry is about. 'how dare you tell me we don't belong!!'" CALLED IT
xax: "suddenly now you can show up in a suit of armor with a hang glider and a chess board under your arm and the first question will be 'well who did you vote for'"
xax: "however if you show up in a full fursuit and comic books and an interest in furries, but you have a MAGA hat on, nope get out you're not a furry, you're a nazi, you're a racist"
xax: i feel like 2 had a very bad reaction to "maybe we should kick out that fursuiter w/ a confederate flag fursuit"
xax: "in the beginning we all knew each other; we all knew what a furry was. it was safe, it was... it was wonderful. we just hung out. we didn't even ASK people what their religion was, what their ideology was, what their political ideals were, what their GENDER SPECTRUM (emphasis original) was. it didn't matter! because the point was that we left those differences aside." like yeah dude that's how we ended up with 'nazifur' as a commonly-recognized type of fur

ugh it's been 90 degrees here so i have the a/c in again. last night i had two distinct dreams that i remember, which is pretty uncommon. one was... idk, some stuff, and i'm too lazt to recount it b/c i already wrote out the second dream here, so:

the second dream was like... i was a kid sneaking around a school, which was constantly framed like a movie. uh the school had a sensible above-ground layout but there were these big metal doors that opened up into a switchback stairway that went down one floor as like, wood, and then a second one as concrete, and then ended up running along these dark, narrow, long corridors that were more like utility tunnels than hallways proper. it was like some abandoned fallout shelter kinda space beneath the school. it was super dark, with the only light being at the stairwells, so the hallways themselves were dim and dingy. and the first part of the dream was just like, going down between stairways and walking along the hallway to get to another stairway up, with the goal of using that to get into... some other part of the school i guess? but i could never find the right door out.

anyway the place had all these branching hallways too, that just kinda went off into darkness, and i went down one. it was completely choked with dust, like wading through a waist-high snow drift, and it just went on and on until there was another stairway up.

(also at some point i can't really chronologically place i was down there and there was another switchback stairway down at the end of the hall all lit up with dim red lights, and it was like DISEASE RESEARCH LABS and there were things that looked like giant spiders kinda growing out of watermelons scattered around the hallway floor, not moving always with the potential to move. but this never came up again.)

and that other stairway up lead into... like a playroom kind of deal? there was an entry room with a doorway into a rectangular playroom that uh extended further to the left than i could see, so there was part of the place always out of frame. and on the left, partially in frame, there was this guy sitting there. with something like clown makeup on? white base and then black circles around the eyes and a big black curve over the mouth. like literally a :). but directly in front of the door there's this tv. and on the tv is basically the exact same view of the room, but there's this little kid playing with the toys. the tv display is all grainy and distorted sometime, w/ buzzing audio. and the guy and the kid are talking to each other, back and forth.

i don't really remember how the next bit went but the kid was doing the Standard Creepy Kid thing of like, "come play with me :)" and eventually he ended up tearing his way out of the tv. there was some bit about like, me trying to explain other people are not just puppets to your will and that it's not nice to use creepy kid powers to make them do what you want. maybe? anyway this ends we me uh, killing the kid. and at some point it's imparted that the kid has like, nine lives and will keep haunting me until i manage to kill him another eight times.

anyway i end up running back into the underground maze and finding the old path i pushed through the dust to get there, but i get super lost and can't find my way back up, and end up going up another ramshackle staircase that goes up and up and up and eventually... like i guess it thins out as it goes? by the end the 'stairway' is like a few inches wide, with a railing that's like an inch or two, in a square with this pit in the center going all the way back down, and i'm mostly climbing up it like a ladder at this point. and it surfaces above ground, but with windows on the walls only -- it's at this point like some thin tall outbuilding, way outside the school itself. and i pry this dessicated interior windowbox off the inside and bash open a window (it's cheap plastic that just kinda falls out of the frame) and climb out

and then it's like, also there's a crowd of people there? a bunch of ne'er do well punk kids who i guess spend their time at the edge of the school's property, throwing things onto the grounds?? and i crawl out of the window and kinda collapse among them and that's when i woke up.